Growing through Affliction

Recently, I have had so many posts in my head that I've wanted to write, but our circumstances at present have just not afforded me the free time I need to do so. During the last several weeks God has been teaching me much about grace and love and obedience and walking by the Spirit. I still have much to learn, but I am grateful for how He has been using some difficult circumstances to draw me closer to Himself and to help me more effectively put into practice what I say I believe.

Elisabeth Elliot defines suffering as "having what you do not want or wanting what you do not have." On the continuum of suffering, my portion is miniscule, but like everyone else, I would prefer to be comfortable and free from all suffering. My flesh rails against the chaos, turmoil and unpredictability that has been our lives the last couple of months. It's not in me naturally to be calm and joyful in the midst of confusion and bedlam; I need His supernatural power. So like the psalmist, I am learning that I can thankfully say

It is good for me that I was afflicted, That I may learn Your statutes. (Psalm 119:71)

In the past I have encountered trials that I have fought against, sulked over, despaired under and questioned God about only to come through them thanking God for having allowed them in my life for His glory and my refining. By His grace and mercy, this time around I am choosing to thank Him on the front end for this small portion of affliction and to allow Him to do with it what He will in my life and the lives of those around me.

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen. (Ephesians 3:20-21)

Praying Scripture

I have been praying lately for some people but finding that I really don't know how or what to pray for them. So I was grateful for this morning's devotion from Elisabeth Elliot; it was timely and wise, as usual.


Power to Meet and to Give Thanks

Often I pray for someone whose circumstances or needs are unknown to me. There are many prayers in Paul's letters which may be used for almost anyone. One of my favorites is in Colossians 1:9-12. A part of this prayer asks "May He strengthen you, in His glorious might, with ample power to meet whatever comes with fortitude, patience and joy, and to give thanks to the Father" (NEB).

That seems to cover every possibility. It does not ask for instant solutions or reversals. It does not call on God for miraculous deliverance out of any trouble that might come. It asks for a truly Christian response, by the sufficient power of God: to meet whatever comes as a true Christian should meet it, with the Holy Spirit's gifts of fortitude, patience, and joy. It asks for the power to give thanks. It takes power, doesn't it, to thank the Father when everything in us protests? But we find in Him (not always in what happens to us) plenty of reason to thank Him and plenty of power.

Pressure of Life

I have been feeling life's pressures lately, so this article was very timely. As usual Ann has a way of putting things in perspective and into words in ways I never could.

Crazy Year So Far

This year has been absolutely crazy, it seems. In January I got absolutely nothing done, and I finally realized it was mostly due to potty training Abigail. For weeks I was setting the timer every 20 minutes and taking Abby to the bathroom. Even with the frequency of visits, she was still having several accidents a day, which meant tons of laundry and cleaning up. We now have made quite a bit of progress with her. She still is having a few accidents a week, but mostly she is going on her own, thankfully!!

We've also had sicknesses and other out-of-the-ordinary things, like snow! We really enjoyed the snow and would like to see more of it, but it did bring things to a standstill around here for several days, including having hubby work from home for almost a week which is sure to create non-productivity around here.

So this month I have been catching up on everything that didn't get done last month. I went to take a neighbor to Longview, Washington, earlier this week and our van wouldn't start! It turned out to just be a drained battery due to the back hatch not completely closing, but we had to have it towed to Beaverton and were without it for a couple days. Everything was covered by our warranty, so we weren't out any money, just inconvenienced a bit.

I got caught up on Ryan's and Abby's blogs yesterday, and today I'm finishing up laundry and Valentine's Day things, hopefully. Maybe next week will feel more like a "normal" week since I won't be starting it off with tons of piled up housework and errands and things to do! I do need to get our taxes done soon too, but I think I can do that next week.

Snow Again

We have had a banner year for snow so far! Last week we had some flurries and enough stuck to let the kids go out and play in it, but it melted within hours and was gone. We woke up yesterday morning to an inch of snow and it continued to snow for hours and hours. We wound up with just shy of four inches, and it is gorgeous. It hasn't been above freezing for days so the snow is still on the ground today. It even snowed a bit more today and made yesterday's dry snow wet enough to pack and make a snowman with today.

Eddie came home early from work on Tuesday, and we did some sledding on the front driveway. The kids made snow angels, and my daughter ate and ate and ate loads of the stuff! Today we only went out for a short time to make a snowman and play a bit. It will probably melt tomorrow, but we're enjoying it while it lasts! Our little birds are having a difficult time finding food though. They usually get it from the ground, but a few of them have taken advantage of our pinecone feeder and are getting every last bit of peanut butter and seeds off of it!

No, I Guess I'm Not

Ryan and I marked our first anniversary in our house the same way we did when we moved in...throwing up our dinner. He seems to be feeling much better today, though it was a long night for him and Daddy. I am still feeling queasy and tired because I didn't sleep much. I repeat...health is such a blessing!

Yes, I Am!

Thanks for the prayers, well wishes and inquiries about my health...I am feeling much better! I am still tiring easy, but other than that, I feel back to normal. Health is such a blessing!!!!

One Full Year

Today's the first anniversary of when we moved into our new home. It doesn't really feel like a whole year. There's so much we still have to do to make our house feel more like home, but I think we finally have all the "bugs" worked out (thankfully, since our warranty is now officially elapsed!), which was a much bigger undertaking than I had ever imagined. I've never had to schedule so many people to come fix something in my life! The electrician is still supposed to come pay a visit to check on a couple things, but other than that I think I have managed to get everything else repaired or replaced. It is so wonderful to have plans for our house that don't include repairs and redoing what previous owners thought was tasteful! I love cleaning the house and everything is so new still. I feel very blessed by our home and our new community.

My biggest concern is that we still haven't found a home church. The church we had been attending "on trial" for about six or seven months had a huge mess explode right before Christmas, and since we didn't personally know the people and who was telling the truth, etc., we just decided to start looking again (we weren't whole-heartedly committed anyway because of some other issues). We keep praying, but we just haven't found where we feel the Lord wants us yet. We just found out this week that the pastor of the church we had been attending has resigned and the elder board was disbanded. We had a friend call us to ask us to come back. Ed is meeting with him next week to get more details of what's going on with the church. If they are starting over from scratch maybe we will stay after all. Please pray for us!

For the Love of Children

Ahh, the soft sound of snow falling...
broken by the screeching of Ryan's car noises!
We had a beautiful snowfall this morning! Since I am still pretty sick, I really just wanted to enjoy it through the window with a cup of coffee and the fire going, but of course that wasn't what Ryan and Abby had in mind. So I took a deep breath, put on the most enthusiastic face I could muster, and we got out the boots, mittens, and warm coats and went outside. They had a blast!


Our backyard became a huge, slushy mudpuddle in short order, and it was time to come inside. I took off muddy boots, muddy mittens, and muddy coats and clothes and threw them all into the washing machine while the kids took a nice warm bubble bath. It was a lot of work for 45 minutes of fun (and frankly I am totally exhausted now), but I'm glad I decided to "die to self" and bless my children. I know I would have regretted letting this opportunity pass just because I'm not feeling well.

Weekend Retreat

It's been a few years since I've been to a women's retreat or had any time alone away from my beloved children. So when a friend offered me her parents' house while they were away on vacation, I took advantage of the opportunity! My sweet hubby watched the kids, and I went on over Thursday evening.

I had a very refreshing and relaxing time...at least up until Saturday evening when it became evident I had caught my daughter's illness of the previous week. I came home sick Sunday afternoon, but it was so good to see my family. Eddie had taken such good care of them, and the house was so clean and neat that it added to my joy in coming home!

In addition to running a bunch of errands sans kids on Friday, while I was away I also spent hours reading my Bible and a book by Charles Spurgeon. I also made lists and more lists and I organized my computer files. I think I finally figured out how to use my new iPod that I got for Christmas, and I listened to a couple of sermons I had downloaded. I planned my homeschooling for the next several months, menu planned, planned sewing projects and household projects. I prayed and cried and prayed some more.

It was a wonderful time of focusing undisturbed on the Lord and His word. The house was so quiet! It was wonderfully quiet, though the first night it kind of creeped me out being in an unfamiliar house and all, so I turned on the television for a little noise and ended up watching the Food Channel for a while. I know that sounds pretty pathetic, but I love that network!

Another Day Dawns

We've been having some gorgeous sunrises and sunsets lately! We enjoyed this one as a family since sunrise is so late this time of year. But it's officially winter now, and I am grateful for the winter solstice though because less than eight hours of light per day starts to get to me! So now each day we're getting more minutes of light, and I'm happy about that.

Christmas Thoughts

My Christmas didn't turn out like I had hoped. We had a relaxing morning (with the exception of a messy mishap with the coffee pot and a freak accident with a bathroom candle). I tried to just enjoy being with my family, and for the most part I was successful. But I couldn't fully relax since I hadn't gotten all the cleaning done that I wanted to before Christmas. My hubby doesn't get it, I don't think, but I just can't fully relax and enjoy things when my house isn't clean...especially on special days when I like it to be spotless.

We have started having prime rib for Christmas dinner for several years now. They almost always have it on special this time of year, and since we rarely have extended family joining us, we can buy a small roast relatively inexpensively. I like it because not only is it a treat, but it's so incredibly easy and fuss-free that I can just pop it in the oven along with some potatoes to bake and leave them alone for a few hours.

However, when I went to put the roast in the oven Chrismas Day, apparently it had been packaged poorly and it was going bad from the bottom up (which is why I hadn't noticed anything wrong). I decided to go back to Safeway and see if they were open perchance and could replace it. They weren't. We live in a small town and nothing except Rite-Aid was open. So we had frozen pizza for Christmas dinner! Oh well.

I was disappointed, but as I was driving to and from Safeway I was reflecting on Christmas and our Savior. I am so grateful that Christmas is about Him and God's gift to the world instead of about presents and special dinners, etc. My dinner and other plans for Christmas were lost...but I'm not. I am bought and paid for! I am redeemed (along with my grumpy attitude), and one day I will live in a kingdom free from sin and death (and rotting meat). I am extraordinarily grateful for Christ and His gift of salvation. I am so grateful too that I have a healthy and beautiful family to celebrate with!

Merry Christmas!

I just want to wish all my family and friends a blessed Christmas today!

The Box Part 2

For ten years now we've dug the box out of our Christmas things, opened it, looked at each little stocking, given each other sad smiles and a hug, and then closed it back up and placed the box on our tree. But this year as I was holding the box in my hand, my four-year-old son asked, "What's in that box?"

The question didn't surprise me or catch me off guard exactly, but I hadn't anticipated having this conversation during our tree trimming celebration. My husband sat down next to me, and we pulled our two precious children close to us as we told them about the box. They had more questions, some of which we had answers for and some we didn't. Then they were satisfied and we went back to decorating this year's Christmas tree.

What a joy the last four Christmases have been! Sometimes I am overcome by the simplest things that remind me how very blessed I am to be a Mommy. As I watched my children excitedly running back and forth between the box of ornaments and the tree, my heart skipped a beat and my eyes filled with tears. It was one of those moments I had dreamed about all those long years when I was aching for children. The joy and fulfillment (and, yes, challenges) they bring don't erase the pain and sadness of the years we collected the stockings, but it gives our joy depth and richness and a perspective I am grateful for.

Though I should have known better, I assumed the kids would forget about the box until next year. But it had an impact, and they are still thinking about it. Abby has been talking about her brothers and sisters in heaven and how she can't wait to give them all a hug. And as I was pushing our grocery cart to the van this week, Ryan looked up and me and said, "Mommy, will you tell me about the box of stockings again?" Yes, Ryan, I would be happy to.

The Box Part 1

It's there every year, inconspicuously nestled into the branches of our Christmas tree. It began the year we found out we were pregnant for the first time. We were thrilled, scared, and dreamy like most first-time parents-to-be. We discovered the news at the beginning of December, and that year for Christmas we were given some things for our baby including a large plastic baby bottle bank filled with goodies and wrapped with a ribbon and a tiny stocking. It was a joyous Christmas despite the horrible morning sickness.

Then February brought heartbreaking news and our hopes and dreams came crashing down around us. We weren't going to hold and cuddle this baby afterall, we would never find out if it was a boy or a girl, we wouldn't be a Mommy or Daddy that year or perhaps ever, and we wouldn't be hanging a third stocking up beside ours next Christmas. We mourned instead, and we would mourn again three more times that year.

The next Christmas had an altogether different feel to it. As we opened up our Christmas boxes half-heartedly, we found the tiny stocking from the year before carefully packed away. I ran my hand over the red felt and remembered the joy of the year before. Suddenly I was surprised to feel something inside. Now intrigued, I looked inside and pulled out a small ziplock bag that had $100 bill and a Post-it note that read "For Baby Garner, to put in the bottle bank when it is empty. Love from Gramie and Granpa."

Though we didn't have the heart to hang up the tiny stocking, that Christmas we bought three more tiny stockings and put all four into a box. In subsequent years we sadly added more until our box now holds 11 tiny stockings, a small rememberance of precious lives dearly loved and wanted.

One Last Bloom

My African Violet has been blooming for eight straight months, but it looks like it's down to one last bloom. I have been enjoying the flowers so much, especially since it didn't bloom for almost four years! It's the only houseplant that I have ever managed to keep alive for more than a year or so. Hopefully this spring it will bloom again!

Simply Joys of the Season

Things didn't turn out exactly as planned this year. I had some things I wanted to do this Christmas, but sickness and other distractions kept me from doing everything I planned. But as I was going over my mental list the other day, I started making another list. I'm so grateful for the things I have and for the simple joys of Christmas:

The baby in a manger who went to the cross for me!

We have heat and electricity!

I have a hubby who would rather be home with us than anywhere else!

No wait in line at our small town post office.

I have two beautiful and healthy (mostly) children!

The smell of gingerbread, evergreen, and cinnamon filling the house.

I love crawling into flannel sheets each evening.

For the first time in my life, I have a house with a garage which means no scraping ice off the van windows each morning!

Hebrews 13:3

"Remember the prisoners, as though in prison wih them, and those who are ill-treated, since you yourselves also are in the body."

I often say a metal "puh-leeze" when I hear Americans talk about being persecuted for their faith. Though I am not ignorant of the fact that discrimination against Christians is increasing rapidly in our country, there are very few incidents of actual persecution. While I'm certainly not advocating handing over our rights as Americans, neither am I all that outraged by the secular forces-that-be removing the word Christmas from advertising or a nativity scene from a public area. It makes me sad that they choose to reject and revile my Savior and what He has to offer them, but can we really expect the world to act any differently?

It is possible (probable?) that one day Americans will indeed be invading our churches and trying to force us to reform or recant our beliefs, perhaps even to the point of death. In the meantime, let's pray for our country and, more importantly, let's not forget our brothers and sisters in Christ around the world who are truly putting liberty, life and limb on the line to follow Jesus. They need our prayers!

Megan Basham offers a little perspective as well.

Mr. Pretlutsky

There are a handful of columnists that I make a point of reading each week, and Burt Prelutsky is one of them. He used to write a humor column for the LA Times, and his current columns often end up pretty funny too.

This week's column in Townhall is a recycled column from Christmas past and it's not particularly funny, but I loved it and thought I'd share it with you. Burt is a Jew, but he gives a great tribute to Christians in this article and I appreciated his sentiments.

Edited to add: This week's column by Burt is a follow-up to last week's and all the responses he received.

Quiet Time

I loved this post from Ann at Holy Experience.

I am not a naturally early riser, and my children are very early risers. I try to get up earlier than they do so I can spend some time with the Lord before my day begins. I don't do well at concentrating deeply or focusing intently on anything once the kids are up and so I tend to want to be alone when I'm having my "quiet time" with the Lord, but I read this post a couple months ago and what a fantastic model this would be for my kids. I am a long way from making this scene happen in our home regularly, but it has given me something to think about.