Six-Year Checkup

We have been trying to get Abigail into the University of Washington's fetal alcohol clinic, and we were recently accepted. However, we were told the wait for the initial assesment is five months to a year. Not the news we were wanting to hear. They did recommend a neurdevelopmental clinic at Oregon Health Sciences University (OHSU) right here in Portland though.


So I made an appointment with our pediatrician to get Abby's six-year well-child exam and to discuss some things with him. Abby loves our pediatrician, Dr. Dean Moshofsky, and is always excited to go see him. We love him too. He never makes us feel rushed, he listens, and best of all, he is a believer too. She was an excellent patient as usual and the exam when quickly. She is 92 percentile in height and 74 in weight!

Dr. Moshofsky agreed that OHSU has a great program and said he will start the referral process, which apparently is a bit onerous. We will hopefully be able to get in there sometime this fall.

Wise Words

I have been getting Elisabeth Elliot's devotions emailed to my inbox every day for about four years now. They repeat every year, and I've read them all multiple times. Though I currently don't read each and every one, I do check the topic and read the ones I think will be pertinent to me on that day. Yesterday's devotion was just what I needed...again:

God's Help for God's Assignment

Sometimes a task we have begun takes on seemingly crushing size, and we wonder what ever gave us the notion that we could accomplish it. There is no way out, no way around it, and yet we cannot contemplate actually carrying it through. The rearing of children or the writing of a book are illustrations that come to mind. Let us recall that the task is a divinely appointed one, and divine aid is therefore to be expected. Expect it! Ask for it, wait for it, believe that God gives it. Offer to Him the job itself, along with your fears and misgivings about it. He will not fail or be discouraged. Let his courage encourage you. The day will come when the task will be finished. Trust Him for it.

"For the Lord God will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded, therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed" (Is 50:7 AV).

Timely words for this weary mom raising and homeschooling a special needs child!

Swimming Again

Abby in the 10-foot-deep end of the pool, loving every minute of it.
After six weeks of no swimming due to our pool being closed for resurfacing, we're finally able to get the kids back into the pool. I think I have mentioned before that we have discovered that swimming is a tremendous help for Abby. When she is swimming regularly her behavior is more manageable, she focuses better, she is less impulsive, and she is emotionally more stable. It isn't a "cure-all," but it is one of the best things we have found to help give her damaged brain the organization it needs. FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders) are so varied and misunderstood that it often feels like we're on our own to find solutions and treatments that help, and I am so grateful the Lord directed us to this activity because it has proven so helpful to her (and Mommy & Daddy)!


An added bonus is that for some reason Abigail was put into the class with the oldest and best swimmers (I'm not sure why), so she spends her 40 minutes in the big pool where she can't touch the bottom. She is swimming full lengths of the pool, which is a lot for a five-year-old! Her instructor is great and said she loves having Abby in her class because it challenges her to find new ways to teach her how to swim (currently she is having difficulty coordinating arms and legs and breathing all at once).


Abby is thrilled because she is now learning to dive! I actually missed her diving for the first time (busy chatting with my friends...oops), but I hope to get a picture or video next time. The lifeguard who was her teacher most of the time last year was so excited by her dive that she called her over and gave her a big high five (making me feel like a crummy mom for missing it all).


Last week on Veterans Day the schools were out, and the pool was packed during our swimming time. So the instructors decided to focus on water safety for that whole 40 minutes instead of spreading it out over the whole eight lessons the way they normally do. The kids had fun rescuing each other and learning how to stay alive in the water.


Ryan has been making progress as well. His class gets to go jump in the deep pool at the end of each lesson, but Ryan is terrified of not being able to touch the bottom, so he has to be talked into it each time. Hopefully, he'll overcome this fear just as he has all his other water phobias!

FASD Awareness Day

Today is the 10th annual Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders Awareness Day. That's a mouthful that simply means today has been chosen to raise awareness about FASD (any disorder caused by prenatal exposure to alcohol).

When we adopted Abigail, we knew she had been exposed to alcohol, and she has since been diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE), one of the disorders encompassed in FASD. Sometimes people are surprised that we openly talk about Abby's disorder, but we want to raise awareness about it. I also want her caretakers (Sunday school teachers, babysitters, etc.) to know that my precious daughter cannot always control her behavior, not because she's defiant (though that happens too), but certain behaviors are hers because of brain damage. She needs compassion, she needs patience, she needs lots and lots and lots of repetition and then she will need still more repetition.

There is no cure. The damage is permanent. However, we are slowly discovering things that can help. We're still learning about how Abby processes information and what things will trigger certain behaviors in her, and it is extremely challenging to navigate this parenting journey. There are days when I feel it's hopeless and I throw myself on God's mercy and grace (which I should be doing every day anyway) and beg Him for wisdom. For me and my husband, it's been a lonely road. We don't know many parents who have done this. On the rare occasion we do get to talk with a parent who has been there, it is one of the greatest gifts, just because they "get it."

Thankfully, we have found a few things that have proven very beneficial, and the latest one is...(drumroll please)...swimming! I don't exactly know why, but Abigail is much better able to focus and control herself when she is regularly swimming. We bought an annual membership to our local pool a few months ago, and I take the kids swimming three days a week. When we don't go, we really notice the difference.

Don't get me wrong, Abby is the sunshine in our family! Despite my utter inadequacy to parent this child, God knew what He was doing when He brought her into our lives. She brings a balance to our other melancholy personalities, she loves life so much that it is impossible to not have that vivaciousness wear off on us, and she has the most compassionate heart you've ever seen!